Stop Letting Your Retreats Flop: Build Connection Before They Even Pack Their Bags
Let me tell you something retreat leaders don’t always want to admit...
Your retreat isn’t about the yoga, the workshops, or the fancy villa. It’s about connection. And if you think that connection magically happens when everyone rolls in with their matching tote bags, guess again.
Connection starts before the retreat even kicks off. Weeks before. Maybe months. Because if you let strangers show up and awkwardly shuffle into icebreakers on day one, it could take days before they become a cohesive group.
Shared Goals = Big Magic
Here’s the first step: make it clear what the hell your retreat is about. No, “finding yourself” isn’t good enough. People need to know what they’re investing in and who they’ll be sharing space with.
Ask your group the real questions. What’s pulling you to this retreat? What do you need from this experience? Toss those questions into a group chat or a survey and watch your attendees open up. You’re not just building excitement—you’re building buy-in. Now they feel like they own part of this retreat.
Get Them Talking—Like, Now
Stop waiting for the retreat to start to build community. If you’re not hosting a virtual pre-event meetup, what are you even doing?
Pull them onto a Zoom call. Introduce yourself, them how excited you are that they are joining you, and then ask each of them for a brief intro of who they are, where they’re from, and what attracted them to the trip. Or, play something ridiculous like Two Truths and a Lie. Laugh. Let them see each other’s faces, hear each other’s voices, and realize, “Hey, these are the people I want to hang with.”
One thing I always do is create a private group—I use Telegram, but Facebook, Slack, Discord, etc. are all fine—and I encourage my guests to get to know one another. Some will share something personal: their favorite travel photo, their go-to feel-good song, or their biggest retreat-related fear. Vulnerability breeds connection, and connection breeds magic.
BONUS: If you participate in the pre-retreat chat, you can start getting to know which guests might need additional encouragement or which ones will tend to bulldoze over others. Forewarned is fore armed.
Plan Together, Win Together
People love to feel involved. Want them to show up excited? Ask for their input. Run a quick survey: “Do you prefer morning hikes or sunset swims?” “What’s your must-have snack for the week?”
Not only will you make them feel heard, but you’ll also get valuable insight to make your retreat even better. Plus, they’ll show up knowing they’ve already helped shape the experience.
Don’t Ghost Your Group
Your role as retreat leader begins the moment your guest pays their deposit for the trip: if your communication consists of just one lonely confirmation email, you’re not leading a retreat—you’re operating a mediocre Airbnb. Continue engaging with them through their inboxes. Share updates, packing tips, or a sneak peek of the menu.
Oh, and highlight your attendees! Spotlight their stories or talents in a newsletter or in your private group. Nothing builds hype like letting someone shine in front of the group. You want people to arrive already invested in each other.
Why This Matters
When your attendees show up already feeling connected—already laughing at inside jokes and swapping stories—you’ve set the stage for something deeper. They’re not spending the first 48 hours breaking down walls—they’re diving straight into the magic you’ve worked so hard to create.
Stop winging it. Build your community early. Treat it like the foundation of your retreat, because, honestly? That’s exactly what it is.