Plant seeds, not fully bloomed gardens.

Lessons Learned from our Las Vegas Retreat

Sometimes I feel like Jane Goodall, but instead of studying chimpanzees, I’m observing middle-aged men in their natural habitat—Vegas. I don’t always control the action; sometimes, my job is to set the stage, sit back, and see what unfolds.

That was precisely the case with last week’s Las Vegas STRIP! retreat. I’ll admit, I wasn’t as buttoned-up as usual. Some restaurant reservations were still up in the air. Activities weren’t completely locked in. I even booked tickets to Awakening at the Wynn for the wrong night (a mistake I managed to fix—thank you, Vegas gods).

But you know what? Leaving a few gaps in the plan gave space for something better: the group filling them in.

I hosted 13 gents (plus me and another helper), hailing from the USA (including Hawaii), Australia, Canada, and England. One of the biggest hurdles I help men over 40 overcome? Making new friends. Let’s face it—deep, lasting connections don’t come as easily as they did in our 20s.

So, instead of dictating every detail, I gave them choices. They picked our final-night dinner spot. They reached a consensus on an afternoon movie during cocktail hour. And when I lost the 15-passenger van in a sea of parking, they even got to choose: wait for me or Uber back home. (Spoiler: they made the right call.)

I watched them do laundry together, help with meals, and swap stories. By the end, friendships had formed. Several are already planning reunions. Some are booking future trips with me. And I think a couple might even be dating. Ah, l’amour! (Talk about a transformational experience.)

The Lesson:

You don’t need every detail ironed out before you start your retreat. Leave room for the unexpected. Let mistakes happen. Trust your group.

Plant seeds, not fully bloomed gardens.

And here’s most of the crew on Friday night after Puppetry of the Penis. The smiles say it all.